L(IVF) COACHING

A creative essay by Emma Dean

A lot of people ask me how I discovered life coaching. The way I see it is: life coaching found me!

Let me take you back to the beginning…

I met my beautiful partner Lucas on 1 January 2020 (happy new year to ME!) and it became very clear I had met someone extraordinarily special. By our third date (at You Came Again vegan tapas in West End – yummmm!) we found out we were both exploring, or at least thinking about, options to have a baby by ourselves – me through sperm donor and Lucas through surrogacy.

​Both being 36 at the time - and me with a few question marks surrounding my fertility - we sprung into action a month later throwing caution to the wind and launching, genitals first, into our TTC (trying to conceive) journey.

Crazy, right? Well. As it turns out…not really. It was the very best decision either of us had ever made but it was not long before we realised we might have a few obstacles in our way. Lucky we started when we did!

Although the next two or so years were one of the most incredible times in my life, they were also laced with insecurity, despair, longing, loss and grief, as we navigated the rocky and tumultuous road of infertility and eventually IVF. It was during this time I reached out to a fertility coach named Jennifer Robertson who came highly recommended on Instagram. Before meeting Jen, I had absolutely no idea there was such a profession as ‘fertility coach’ but as it turned out it was just what I needed: a safe space to speak about how shit infertility was, someone to check in on me, valuable info about coping tools and strategies, and a community of people going through a similar thing to me.

Before connecting with Jennifer, I had not spoken openly about our journey. I was filled with shame, embarrassment and feelings of unworthiness and confusion. But after reading her heart-on-sleeve book – The Injustice Of Infertility – I felt called and inspired to speak out.

Or rather, SING out.

So, I began writing songs about infertility. The songs became an album. The album became a tour. And suddenly, before I knew it, I was standing on a stage singing and speaking about infertility and IVF. And these songs were not all cry-your-heart-out numbers. No. They were hopeful, honest and at times even funny, tongue and cheek stories that made people laugh and smile and perhaps reflect on their own journey.

BUY/STREAM Shape Of A Girl

But the best feedback I ever received was that this collection of songs made people feel not so alone.

It got me to thinking about the power of creativity; about how healing it was for me to dig deep and turn some of my pain, my shame, and my broken bits into something beautiful, like the Japanese art of kintsugi. The release was significant. The empowerment was real.

Perhaps I could help others do the same?

Now, for over 20 years I have been coaching in the field of music, singing and songwriting so I am no stranger to their incredible healing powers. But I wanted to learn structure and technique and a way that could potentially cater for people who did not necessarily use music as their creative medium.

Eventually, I found BYCA (Beautiful You Coaching Academy) where I have been studying and learning and loving. My dream is to be able to help people own their own unique stories through creative practice, goal setting, and action! Whether you are a beginner and just want to find your creative spark, or you have a creative dream on the tip of your tongue, I want to help you achieve this, one magical and meaningful step at a time.

As I type this creative essay, I am 21 weeks pregnant with twins. One of them is high kicking me in the ribs like a Radio City Rockette, as if to remind me of the incredible adventure we went on to make this dream a reality and the healing, creative steps I took along the way.​

THE END.

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